Resolute

In the past, I would have been embarrassed to admit that I joined the New Year’s Resolution band wagon and kick-started a wellness effort. Whatever. This year I’m very much feeling like if that’s what it takes to make some positive changes, go for it. So I have. I have been endlessly irritated with the…

Quiet Uptown

I’ve hit that point again where my aspirations outpace my energy. Between growing a human and cycling out of treatment, I’m exhausted these most of the time. My days consist of the office, maybe a nap, home, nap again, eat, then back to bed. It’s not terribly exciting. I’d really like to fit some more…

NYE

We have finally reached the end of 2017. The first half of this year almost ended me. Between the pain and hurt and recovery and uncertainty, there were definitely times it felt like too much. It was an excruciating battle, but I survived. Fortunately, things started to improve right around the middle of the year,…

Merry Christmas

Last year we depended on the kindness and generosity of others to make our Christmas dreams come true. We had very little ourselves and were scraping to hold on to our house and business. The hardest part of treatment was still ahead of us, and little did we know that life was going to get…

Greatest Love

Once upon a time, I had a little baby. She was small and tiny and vulnerable. She couldn’t do anything for herself, so we provided everything she needed. She is my first child. She is the steel bow of a hardened ship cutting its way through ice topped waters. She is making me yield, opening…

Oh Baby!

I have been long overdue for a medical update. Part of my delay is that I don’t enjoy thinking about my health much anymore now that the “actively fighting disease” part is behind me. I like to leave the medical drama of my life in the past- solidly where it belongs. The other factor, I…

Momma

Be gentle, Momma. I know sometimes this job we have- this job of loving and nourishing and holding our children up- feels like an awfully heavy task. The truth is, it is. It is hard. It sometimes hurts. But remember, that pain is the blossom on love’s sweet vine. A beautiful, prickly, burden we carry…

The Budget Theory

It has been awhile since I’ve technically had cancer. I was declared “no evidence of disease” after chemotherapy ended in July of 2016. Of course, I still went on to have a bilateral mastectomy and 28 doses of radiation. As much as I would like my dance with cancer to be in the history books…

First Fall

What is that little piece of heart ache we all carry with us? That little fractured piece that sits mostly quietly, and then strikes to cut with precision at the most unexpected moment. This may sound sad and woe-some but really it reminds me of the great depth and beauty that is available to me…

Go With The Flow

Our family is currently on vacation with Little Pink Houses of Hope. We were gifted the opportunity to spend a week at Mertle Beach taking in beautiful sites, warm weather and wonderful events tailored just for families like ours. Today we spent the day at the beach. We swam until we were too tired to…

Tears and Fears

Please, for the love of God, can we try to do better? I cannot accept that I live in a country where the best and brightest of us cannot find a way to start chipping away at this behemoth. I cannot accept doing nothing in the face of such overwhelming grief and loss of life. I simply cannot fathom it.

Little Feet

Do you know what joy is? Joy is the feel of my child’s silky hair. It’s the smell of her as she tucks herself into me for the night. It is her little feet pressed into me as we lay entwined together. Do you know what love is? Love is hearing her  whimpering and crying…