Mess

I love my messy house. There are baby toys strewn at odd angles around the living room floor. There is a white wig on the chair. A pair of small, silver shoes is perched on the hutch in the kitchen. Every countertop is littered with plates and food and toys and findings from a recent…

Show Up Selfie

A picture a day (or however frequent I can keep this going) for each day I work out. Today, it was unlikely to happen. I’m tired from the holidays. I had an early meeting. I had a lot of work to do. My body hurts. It is dark and cold and snowing. I had plenty…

Spin

Okay boys and girls, I have a BIG announcement. That might be an over exaggeration, but it feels HUGE to me. Brace yourselves… I just went to, and completed, my first spin class in years! (Imagine a kazoo announcing this momentous achievement and a small handful of confetti being apathetically tossed in the air.) Me,…

70.3

It’s been a minute since I’ve shared. Not because I don’t want to, but because I’ve been doing ordinary things in a fairly uneventful life. You know, like climbing three flights of stairs at a play over the weekend and having an attendant ask if I’m all right. Umm, no. I’m not all right. This…

Lonesome

The thing about cancer is that it is very isolating. At least, for me it is. When I find myself sitting in a waiting room alone trying to read the expression on my doctor’s face, and even though I am so very loved, I still feel alone. The weight of what could be and what…

Bigger Than This

I did it. I completed a week of surfing and growth in Hawaii. If you had told me all the amazing physical accomplishments I would tick off this week, I wouldn’t have believed you. But here I am, living proof that we are only as strong as we let ourselves believe. I’ve let myself believe…

Day 1

I want to share a bit about my adventure in Maui since I received so much help in making this dream come true. Last week, I wasn’t even sure I was going to come. Then I thought about all the helping hands that made this possible, and it was clear backing out wasn’t an option….

This Is Me

Oh hey there. Here I am again, facing something big and scary and new. This time, you helped me get here. Let me tell you about it. I’m going surfing in Maui with other cancer survivors. Before you think to yourself, “That’s not scary, what is she droning on about?” try to see it my…

Good Enough

Oh, so today is one of those days. One of those cry-in-your-office-with-the-door closed, where-is-my-wine, how-will-I-make-it-to-bedtime days. Apparently, being without my husband for long enough turns me into the walking wounded. It’s silly and a little embarrassing, but we all have these moments, yes? My mom has been here helping with the kids, along with Tom’s…

Hurt Someone

I think I hurt someone. I think I made her feel small, or maybe unfairly treated. I think I hurt someone. I think I might have forgotten to say “thank you” or remind her how much she meant to me. I think I hurt someone. I think I forgot in my own well of hurt…