Goodbye Sweet Friend

I said goodbye to a dear, sweet friend today. I’ve cried so hard, I’ve worried another breath wouldn’t find me. This is what it feels like to leave a piece of my heart with someone I love. Her death brought my own painful tearing and ripping apart. Deep, permanent wounds remain. To say she loved…

Train Like A Girl

I showed up to workout today and didn’t realize class had been cancelled. I can’t tell you for sure what I would have done seven months ago in this same situation, but I can tell you what happened today. I dug out an old workout from the whiteboards stacked in a corner. I found something…

Good Company

Dear Friend, It is okay to feel whatever it is you are feeling. You don’t have to be anything. You don’t have to be fixed or better. We are all a bit broken; we all hurt and heal and hurt again. You don’t have to feel bad for feeling bad. You can be grateful for…

Break It Up

This is a breakup letter.  Dear X, I’m done with you. I have relied on you for years and years to help me navigate my life. I’ve believed the lies you’ve told me about myself. I’ve let your opinion outshine my effort, my hard work, my self-worth. You’ve made me cry. You’ve made me crazy….

The Joke’s On Them

I recently saw the video of Beni Bryant singing his guts out on X Factor. I know. It could sound lame, but just listen. This song reminded me to never settle for the middle. It reminded me to pursue the beauty and the passion that is inside all of us. It reminded me to rejoice…

The Challenge

I’m so angry I could cry. I just finished a 6-week nutrition challenge. In that time, I worked by butt off with eating things that either had eyes or grew from the ground (think super clean, whole foods). I drank a gallon of water daily. I tracked everything I ate and hit my macros within…

Hot and Heavy

It is super hot facing the sun on a cloudless day in Bozeman. I’m sitting on the sidelines watching Elle warm up before her game. As I staked out a spot to sit among the open fields there is no shade for half a mile in either direction. Within minutes I’m regretting my decision to…

The Inner Critic and the Open Heart

I stopped writing for a moment. I think I let something get into my head. I let myself believe that my words weren’t worth sharing. Every creative, every human, struggles with the notion that their work, or who they are, is just not good enough. I step away from writing when I fail to make…

What Dreams May Come

When I was sick, I begged for answers. I needed my pain to have meaning. I needed to know I was living for a reason. I knew then, and I know now, that the life I was living was incomplete. I had failed to focus on what brought me joy. I had failed to spend…

I Am Worthy

I have worked out consistently and vigorously for over three months now. Despite exercise and a healthy diet, I haven’t lost a single pound. For the most part, I have been okay with my slow transformation though I still avoid looking at myself in mirrors. I do almost anything to avoid seeing a reflection that…