The Desk

I did something this weekend. I rearranged my entire office to make room for the three new people who are joining our team over the next few weeks. Three. Yikes. I’m just as surprised as anyone that three amazing people came into my life at the same time. But when the doors open, I firmly believe you need to walk through them.

This game of musical offices required me to pack up my own desk. This is the desk that has been with me since I started practice on my own. The desk that was Tom’s grandfather’s before it was mine. This desk has been collecting mojo for sixty or seventy years. Now, it was time to prepare it for someone else.

I couldn’t help but think of how far I’ve come in the last ten years. How I started a firm with $2,000 and eight clients. How at the end of next month, I will have eleven people on staff and we’ve served thousands. I can’t help but think about what it takes to make something like this work, and how much blood and flesh go into it.

I have built something I am proud of, definitely. But let me advise you that it is far, far, from perfect. Sometimes we are able to make clients happy. Sometimes the train wreck of divorce is unavoidable. Sometimes I have as many clients and work as we need. Sometimes it’s uncomfortably lean.

I’ve had to learn how to suffer a near fatal wound, bandage myself up with whatever is near by, and carry on. I’ve gotten mentally tougher and a lot wiser. I’ve developed a constitution that is more or less comfortable being uncomfortable. I mean, I don’t love the pain, but I can deal with it.

For me, the first five years of owning a business is hell. It’s sometimes great, sure, but if anyone really knew what they were signing up for when they hang out their shingle I honestly don’t think they’d do it. It is that hard and that scary.

I keep hoping…No, I keep believing that all the fear and uncertainty will be worth it. In the best light, Element is a place that has offered comfort to those who are hurting. I have taken good care of people inside and outside of this organization. I believe in the end we will do work that makes a deep impact, and we will leave the world a little better than we found it.

To get there, I have to slay my fair share of dragons. Packing up my desk reminded me that growth is painful. Change is uncomfortable. The next steps is often made blindly.

But when you believe in something as deeply as I do, you make the leap. You hand over your precious comfort item knowing it is the right thing for the ten other people on the team. You do what needs to be done, find your courage and keep moving.

That’s all I can do. It is not without fear or uncertainty that I take this next step but I’m taking it anyway. Because someday it will be a thousand steps like this that bring me to where I’ve always wanted to be. I won’t get there standing still, and I’ve got dreams to build. Onward.

Give ‘Em Hell

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