It’s been a minute since I’ve shared. Not because I don’t want to, but because I’ve been doing ordinary things in a fairly uneventful life. You know, like climbing three flights of stairs at a play over the weekend and having an attendant ask if I’m all right.
Umm, no. I’m not all right. This isn’t me, I don’t like this whole deal, and I want it to change now.
I’ve decided to go back to my roots. I’m going to race a half Ironman this summer.
A couple of things about this first. One, I wasn’t convinced I would be able to do this. That was until I surfed for a week in Hawaii. Turns out I am stronger than I thought I was. I’m going to bend, and I may even break, but I can repair. I’m not the girl who is confined to a bed. I’m not her any longer.
Second, the race I had my eye on, the inaugural half Ironman in the city next door to where I grew up, is sold out.
Okay, so that’s a pretty serious issue. I don’t know how I’m going to overcome that because I’m pretty sure Ironman doesn’t care who you are or what you’ve been though. Rules are rules, kid. I’m working on a way to push through the limit. I may have to unabashedly beg to get in. But I’ll do that because here is what this means to me:
It is everything.
I want my life back. I want to feel strong. I’ve taken a beating and I’ll rise again. I’ve been pushed down, face in the dry, dusty, dirt and I’m. still. here. God damn if I let something stop me.
My intention for 2019 is to rise. Whatever this year has to throw at me, I can basically laugh and shrug it off. That is my super power. Since I’ve gone toe to toe with death and financial ruin, the rest is simple. I’ll clap my hands of the dust and press forward. I’m rising up. Better believe.
So I’m going to do that half. That course belongs to me. It is my heart, my soul, my redemption. It all lies in the 70.3 miles of that race.
It won’t be pretty. It won’t be fast. It will be pure drive and determination. I have an amazing coach behind me who half intimidates the hell out of me and half is pure inspiration. Paul, I hope you’re up for this ride.
As for everyone else, training partners are always welcome. Count me in. For the doubters, I’ll see you at the finish line.
Give ‘Em Hell