I had a dream tonight that I attended a wedding… of sorts. Like most dreams, it was a mix of crazy, longing, loving and beautiful.
The bride in my dream was the sun that shone over the mountain where I lived when I first moved to Montana. I met and fell in love with Tom in Big Sky where Lone Peak overlooked us all. I know it’s crazy for the sun to be a bride, but she was, and she was beautiful.
It was a beautiful dream in another way, too. Sometimes, when I am really lucky and I’m dreaming passionately, music comes to me. It’s an original score that I am writing for that particular dream. This piece had layers upon layers of harmony and melody and chords that were just stunning. It was a deeply moving arrangement that complimented the sun’s beauty and grace.
I no doubt dreamt about music because the sun’s nuptials reminded me to find my love. After several dress rehearsals, I went to find Tom, stopping along the way to find a make-shift ring and searching the mountain village for him. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I was as certain as the sun. Now, I realize the predictability and reliability of the sun speaks to my deep certainty that my husband is my perfectly imperfect forever person.
I vividly remember searching for him. I recall that feeling of desperation and longing. I had to connect with him. Every cell in me had to tell him that I loved him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
But I woke up too soon.
Pain from surgery jarred me out of my sleep. So here I am in the middle of the night still left with a confession of deep love for the only man for me. I cannot shake the feeling that searches for him, eager to look into his eyes and profess this:
Tom, I love you. I so deeply and truly love you. I am so excited to know without hesitation that you are the man for me. You are the person I want to spend the entirety of my life with. The story of my life begins and ends with you. Will you grant me the greatest honor of my life by marrying me?
I may have to make a ring out of a daisy in the morning and properly propose. Otherwise, I may never get this lingering longing out of my heart. While I suspect I may have the answer to my question already, I will keep you updated on the proposal.
Here’s to more longing, loving and beauty in all our lives.
Give ‘Em Hell