In the past, I would have been embarrassed to admit that I joined the New Year’s Resolution band wagon and kick-started a wellness effort. Whatever. This year I’m very much feeling like if that’s what it takes to make some positive changes, go for it. So I have.

I have been endlessly irritated with the limited energy and stamina I have. (I’m pretty sure I’ve written about it once or twice…). While we aren’t totally sure what is causing me to feel so lousy, I can try to do a little experiment myself to see if I can self-diagnose the setback. While my issues could be pulmonary, cardiac, and/or overall loss in functioning from disease and treatment, it could also be just simple deconditioning. Lord knows a year and a half in bed will do that to you. Add on a significant weight gain and it’s like trying to hike Everest straight off the couch with a weighted vest on.

What can I do then? Go old school. Turns out diet and exercise are still a thing. So I’m doing the thing. I’m eating better and trying to mix up my exercise. So far, the eating has been a lot better. Who knew fruits, vegetables and lean proteins were good for you? Obviously, I did. But I had been long divorced from them with the pace of work and life and treatment and a lot of other excuses I could offer. I’m trying to plan my days out better and break my habit of being surprised around lunch time every day that I’m suddenly desperately hungry. A little pre-planning goes a long way and keeps me from having a coke and bagel for lunch (bad, I know). Also, high five to my seriously amazing husband who is totally on board for preparing meals and shopping for my new dietary requests. Seriously, he is the best.

I’m also tying to up the exercise. That’s tricky because my limit is already so low. While pregnant, I’m not allowed to push it too hard because fetuses are demanding about things like oxygen. That makes it hard to make progress when I can’t drive harder. So, I’m making calculated moves outside my comfort zone to try to shore up some progress. If you want to walk, cross country ski, hit the gym, swim, cycle, or anything else with me, I am absolutely accepting applications for accountability partners.

I am such a far cry from the half ironman triathlete I was two years ago, but I also know that girl isn’t coming back to me on her own. She is something I will have to fight for…and wouldn’t you know I’m a badass warrior? There won’t be a lot of gain in lamenting what I have lost. It absolutely makes me feel a lot better to be chipping away at the mountain to reclaim the life I love. I am so fortunate to be here, to be alive, to be with my family and hosting this miracle baby. Taking care of myself is an act of self love that I am finally creating space for. That means I’ve come a long, long way in a year. I don’t know what 2018 will bring, but what I can control will be supported with love, faith, hope and determination. I mean really, did you expect anything less?

Love you all.

Give ‘Em Hell