First Fall

What is that little piece of heart ache we all carry with us? That little fractured piece that sits mostly quietly, and then strikes to cut with precision at the most unexpected moment. This may sound sad and woe-some but really it reminds me of the great depth and beauty that is available to me alongside the sudden jabs at my hearts.

None of the beauty I have seen in the world would be meaningful if I had not felt that stinging pain. In fact, the happy moments are almost always laced with a kind of sorrow- an awareness of how incredible this lightness is simply because it has shown up against the dark. I don’t have to live in the hard moments anymore to have that deep, lif-affirming appreciation for the joy.

In some ways- in many ways- my heart has been set free. There is a boundless contentment that washes over me in most moments. Even in the moments immediately following pain or fear or sadness. The cycle turns itself over so much faster now. An able-bodied athlete my mind is, cartwheeling out of the stumble to hit my stride once again. I am a conditioned optimist, a seasoned survivalist. 

I am steadily gathering pieces of myself and building something new. I have shrugged off the pressure and melted into the flow. I am like the bountiful flakes of pure white snow that have blanketed my world in the past few hours. Shimmering, shining, and oh-so-beautiful. 

Give ‘Em Hell

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