Not Today

Some days I want to give up. Like today. The setbacks roll in and I feel silly for even trying. I feel defeated and I feel too tired and hopeless to keep pushing on. I can come up with a thousand reasons why I should let it go, why I should protect my heart and just acquiesce. 

But all it takes is one reason. One reason to keep putting one foot in front of the other. One reason to go back to the well and pull up a little more effort, a little more faith, a little more try. In my mind, I can make that singular hope eclipse the doubt. I press my eyes closed and I will the positive to grow larger than the negative. I imagine it inflating like a giant balloon, lifting my heart and soul and chin with it. 

All it takes is one reason. But lucky me, I have so much more than that.

Today I am anchored by the courage and faith of a million people who have walked through harder times than I have. Today I let my anxious shoulders relax in the knowledge that this is temporary. I let the hopelessness slide off me. I see the pain and grief trying to creep in from the corner of my eye and I say “Not today.” It may crowd in around me but I draw a chalk circle in the pavement and create a space of solace.  

Some days I want to give up. 

But I won’t. 

Give ‘Em Hell.

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