Stumble

I’d like to be clear about something. Even though I try so very hard to put forth my best efforts to make everything come together, to find success after cancer, it’s not always easy. Building a business is a labor of love. Sometimes I am up, sometimes I am down. Today is a down day.

Everything I do, I do with such passion and optimism that it can be heart shattering to realize my vision may take a detour. That’s my own fault, I think. I put my heart on the line and I risk getting crushed. That is the cost of dreaming big: ending up in a flaming ball of disaster. I truly believe and respect the idea that I can’t impose my will on other people. I don’t harbor resentment. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt though. Deeply and truly.

I write tonight because I want to be honest. Sometimes putting your heart on the line hurts more than anything. It doesn’t mean it’s not worth the effort. I continue to have faith. I continue to believe in the dream. I am beyond sad to realize there will be major setbacks. I am frustrated with myself for not being able to find the solution, for having missed something between surviving and thriving. I don’t know where I went wrong. Maybe I never will. But I won’t stop. I’ll sit here tonight and be sad and wounded and tomorrow I will rise and get to work. 

I don’t believe in unhappy endings. I believe in new beginnings. I’m (reluctantly) okay with pain. I’m going to sit with my pain tonight and let it teach me what I need to learn. I will emerge on the other side wiser and stronger. My message to you: Don’t let a setback discourage your dream. Don’t be disillusioned that the big dreams are easy. Know they are worth fighting for, and keep the faith. Setbacks are part of the climb. Keep going.

Give ‘Em Hell

One Comment Add yours

  1. Dyanna Rieger says:

    oh my dear. You didn’t do anything wrong. You did everything in your power. Then life/cancer happened. You are amazing. But even the most amazing women have to break at times. Over and over again. What makes us truly amazing is that we continue to rebuild the broken pieces, no matter how many breaks we go through. We ARE survivors and yes, life will return more beautifully than we can ever imagine. Although it may take way longer than we think we can survive. But survive we do. Cuz that’s who we are! Take gentle care today OF YOU.

    Liked by 1 person

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