Chemo Queen

Oh well now, this is getting silly. My phone rang a little after 5:00pm and I recognized the number from the Cancer Center. Like a good cancer patient, I ignored it, assuming it was the office confirming my appointment for tomorrow. When it rang again after only a few minutes, I knew I should probably see what was up. Sure enough, it was my oncologist. He was calling to let me know that he had reviewed my echocardiogram and it indicated that I have a blood clot in my heart. 

I’m going to pause for a second and let that sink in. I have a freaking blood clot. In my heart. I’m sorry, what the heck is going on now?

This discovery requires pretty immediate attention and fortunately I only live five minutes from the hospital. My oncologist and his nurse were waiting for me after hours (how awesome is that, by the way?) to make sure I understood what was going on (I don’t really) and to walk me through the shots I now have to administer to myself. 

Again, I need to pause. I have to do what now? Give myself two shots a day. Does it hurt? Oh yeah. Definitely. How long will I need to do this? For three months.

Are you kidding me?

At this point I feel like a Girl Scout with a full sash of side effect badges. From head to toe, inside and out, I am full on cancer queen. Despite dropping chemo like a bad habit three weeks ago, the goods keep coming my way. It’s like a bad breakup and I want to change my number and relocate because boy, I am so over you.

 So now I am learning to work up the nerve to poke myself. I am starting to cut down on the amount of time I spend counting to three, sighing, then counting again, and I’m getting faster at jabbing myself on the first go. Like all things cancer, it gets a little easier after the initial shock wears off a bit. With all the practice I’m getting, I expect to be an expert poker in about a week.

Of course, Tom was sweet enough to offer to do my injections for me. However, for the sake of my marriage I think it is best if I am the one responsible for jabbing myself on a daily basis. It just seems like a good move to keep other people out of the misery that is Lovenox, which I am affectionately renaming Lovenot.

So on we go with the full circus act that is cancer. At some point I know I will look back on this and shake my head and smile. Today, I just look at my husband, raise my eyebrows and say, “Sure, why not.” We’ll get through this like everything else. One day at a time, two shots a day.

Give ‘Em Hell.

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Weezie says:

    We still say God Bless Katie every day!!!
    Just wanting you to know that although we do not know each other, I am praying and sending positive energy your way. You are on my mind continually.
    GIVE EM’ F***ing HELL!
    weezie

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is so awesome. Thank you so much, Weezie! I feel that love all the way over here!

      Like

  2. Lisa Hammond says:

    Katie, it is 2am and I am reading this and just feeling rage…against the blood clot, against cancer, against our Creator…this is so not fair….but life is so unfair, on so many levels…guess I just need to get past that….please know there are so many loved ones behind you, lifting you up, praying with you….please rest, work hard to get well, and let others help, each and every day of your recovery….and, if that means letting someone else give the shots…..please let them….you don’t need to shoulder this by yourself….and keep raging against the darkness….we are here, with you, every step of the way. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. sjpmama says:

    Set backs are so hard. We originally thought Mikes chemo would be a couple months it was 6 and we thought he would be able to do this new treatment but he couldn’t and I can’t remember why but it added 3 more months to the chemo…10 months total…it is your attitude, it was ours as well that kept our spirits up, well at least that kept me going, knowing there would eventually be an end.
    I’m not sure I can look back and laugh yet, most of it was pretty terrible (and I was on the outside) but I can look back and be proud that we conquered it together, and beat it together!!! So I’m hoping and praying the same for you, and your family that it binds you together and what was meant to kill brings life and instead.

    Like

  4. sjpmama says:

    Set backs are so hard. We originally thought Mikes chemo would be a couple months it was 6 and we thought he would be able to do this new treatment but he couldn’t and I can’t remember why but it added 3 more months to the chemo…10 months total…it is your attitude, it was ours as well that kept our spirits up, well at least that kept me going, knowing there would eventually be an end.
    I’m not sure I can look back and laugh yet, most of it was pretty terrible (and I was on the outside) but I can look back and be proud that we conquered it together, and beat it together!!! So I’m hoping and praying the same for you, and your family that it binds you together and what was meant to kill brings life and instead.

    Liked by 1 person

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