Today is the day before chemo, meaning, tomorrow I will once again start at the bottom of the well and slowly crawl my way out over the following 6 days. As much as I am not looking forward to the suffering, I am really excited to wage another attack on the cancer cells in my body. Those bastards picked the wrong girl, I can tell you that much. So hit me with your best shot, chemo. I’m ready. Bombs away!
The person I was 3 months ago would have railed against the pain and suffering of this treatment. I would have put a lot of energy feeding the fear and anxiety around the pain and discomfort chemo brings. The person I am today has accepted how little control I have over things. I was feeding the wrong beast. I was giving my power away. Now, I’m looking inward. I can control my responses to these things, I can control how I interact with, and love, other people.
And now I feel incredibly powerful.
Mostly, I feel like I’m okay and that let’s a lot of love in. And so right now, in this moment, I’m whole. I’m heading into tomorrow with a lot of peace, boundless optimism and a give em’ hell attititude.
This is a short post because I just wanted to be sure I shared the peace that has come to me by letting go. By not holding so tightly to the reins of my life and instead channeling my energy into compassion, patience, grace and love for myself and others, I have opened up a lot of room for light to come in to my heart. I hope some light comes in to your heart as you read this and that you are reminded of your important place in the world. Go do good things today.
Give em’ hell.