70.3

It’s been a minute since I’ve shared. Not because I don’t want to, but because I’ve been doing ordinary things in a fairly uneventful life. You know, like climbing three flights of stairs at a play over the weekend and having an attendant ask if I’m all right. Umm, no. I’m not all right. This…

Lonesome

The thing about cancer is that it is very isolating. At least, for me it is. When I find myself sitting in a waiting room alone trying to read the expression on my doctor’s face, and even though I am so very loved, I still feel alone. The weight of what could be and what…

Bigger Than This

I did it. I completed a week of surfing and growth in Hawaii. If you had told me all the amazing physical accomplishments I would tick off this week, I wouldn’t have believed you. But here I am, living proof that we are only as strong as we let ourselves believe. I’ve let myself believe…

Day 1

I want to share a bit about my adventure in Maui since I received so much help in making this dream come true. Last week, I wasn’t even sure I was going to come. Then I thought about all the helping hands that made this possible, and it was clear backing out wasn’t an option….

This Is Me

Oh hey there. Here I am again, facing something big and scary and new. This time, you helped me get here. Let me tell you about it. I’m going surfing in Maui with other cancer survivors. Before you think to yourself, “That’s not scary, what is she droning on about?” try to see it my…

Good Enough

Oh, so today is one of those days. One of those cry-in-your-office-with-the-door closed, where-is-my-wine, how-will-I-make-it-to-bedtime days. Apparently, being without my husband for long enough turns me into the walking wounded. It’s silly and a little embarrassing, but we all have these moments, yes? My mom has been here helping with the kids, along with Tom’s…

Hurt Someone

I think I hurt someone. I think I made her feel small, or maybe unfairly treated. I think I hurt someone. I think I might have forgotten to say “thank you” or remind her how much she meant to me. I think I hurt someone. I think I forgot in my own well of hurt…

Medicated Kid

We just had a parent-teacher conference and I didn’t cry. That is a huge accomplishment. Let me explain. My oldest, Elle, has pretty severe ADHD. This isn’t a surprise to me because I had undiagnosed ADHD until I hit my second year of law school. In the 80’s, if you didn’t pay attention you got…

I Wasn’t Expecting This

Today I told my story of being raped by a man I knew in college. Today I laid my soul bare to share the story of a moment in my life that has plagued me with feelings of unworthiness, uncleanliness, and of being unlovable. Today I spoke truth. Today was scary. Today was vulnerable. Today…

The Slow Paradigm Shift of Sexual Assault

Do I still have to tell this story? Actually, I’ve never really told anyone except my husband. It’s the story of how I woke up to a man having sex with me when I was in college. But it’s not just my story, it’s the story of millions of women every year who are sexually…