Hurt People Hurt People

Nothing is the same without her. It hasn’t been normal. It’s so distressing to want to call and talk to the only person who could understand. I can’t talk about it. I can’t write about it here. Because as much as I hate what is being done to me, I love her more. As much…

What Is Forgiveness?

I’m realizing that this actually is forgiveness. This is love. Making space to try new things and to be kinder in my thoughts to myself is actually exactly what I need.

Hold On To Yourself

This chapter in my life is about self-discovery. I didn’t see it coming, but here it is, a full on wave of curiosity. A yearning to be creative and free from things that no longer fit me. I‘m going to sit on the ground and feel the grass brushing the palms of my hands –…

Prologue

I am a very average 37-year-old mother of three kids. I’m married to a great guy, live in a nice house in a safe part of America. I’m a family lawyer by day and I practice at the firm I started four years ago. In my free time, I like to write. I never thought…

All the Children

White privilege is realizing your children will have access and opportunities black children will not have – in the US and especially globally. My children are wildly privileged. They are growing up white, upper middle class, in a high net worth area with a stay at home parent. They want for nothing and literally mostly…

Helpers

There are helpers everywhere. There are people who show up with cards (thank you Charlotte), and food (thank you Erin), and copious amounts of texts (thank you Jessie). There are people who look around and see what needs to be done. They roll up their sleeves and they get to work. How beautiful is that?…

Legacy

The kindest, most loving and loyal thing I can do for you, my sweet, is to become the best version of myself possible. It’s not perfection, no. It is a commitment to learn from the hurt, grow from the pain, and rejoice in the good times. To live a full life, soaked in dreams and…

On Grief

I almost started to write that grieving stinks. I meant to imply something negative about how grieving feels. But therein lies the difference. Grieving is uncomfortable. It is definitely painful. But it is not, in itself, bad. It is important that in this time, just as in times of joy, I lean in to the…

Sun Kissed

They say human tears have different compositions depending on why the person is shedding them. This just confirms something I already know; all hurt is unique. This hurt doesn’t feel like anything that came before it. It’s such a slicing finality. My ears ring and my chest vibrates in the sudden cacophony of silence. I…

Words Fail

Hi sweet friend. I need you to know that I love you. I love you so very much. Can you hear me? I’m calling for you. I can’t quite feel you yet even though I am straining to hold on to every piece of you, like a faint melody lulling in the distance. My heart…