Freshy Fresh

PROJECT JOY continues, despite the disappointing political climate, huge unknowns and transitions, loss of a friend to cancer, and somewhat vague medical status. I can’t really say what shifted in my brain (I think it has a lot to do with hope) but I’m definitely holding on to a different mindset than I was a…

Shine On

I was fortunate in that I had the capacity and the opportunity to attend law school. I was even more fortunate that I attended law school in Montana with an amazing group of peers and professors. Our graduating class had around 70 people in it. There wasn’t a single person I saw in the halls…

Project Joy

I have been thinking a lot about where I am in my recovery and my life right now. Things have been really difficult, as I think has been clear in my writing. I have to admit, I’m a little bit embarrassed about that.  Embarrassment comes from shame, I think. I feel somewhat ashamed at how…

Not Today

Some days I want to give up. Like today. The setbacks roll in and I feel silly for even trying. I feel defeated and I feel too tired and hopeless to keep pushing on. I can come up with a thousand reasons why I should let it go, why I should protect my heart and…

Tedx

I had the incredible opportunity to prepare and deliver a Tedx talk in Bozeman in April. As expected, I learned a lot. I had fun. I worked hard. What I wasn’t expecting was how hard the journey to the red circle would push me, what it would reveal about where I was in my life,…

Still Can

After writing my last post about how hard and overwhelming things have been, many many of you have reached out to me to offer support and encouragement. Some of you have even donated to my GoFundMe page, which my dear friend, Beth, lovingly reinvigorated for me. Once again, my Love Army showed up for me….

The Fray

No one likes to be seen at their worst. Not me. Not you. We don’t like to be seen in the unflattering light that sometimes chases us down. But I’m bathing in it, man. There is no escaping it. There is nothing but harsh, unforgiving light bearing down on me. All my flaws are out….

I Forgot

I forgot. I forgot what it felt like to not be pinned under the weight of a thousand things. What it feels like to breath clean fresh air without fear that the exhale will break me. What it feels like to let my shoulders hang down and away, instead of curled up hiding beneath my…

An Open Letter to the Nation

Greg Gianforte is not Montana. At least, not the Montana I know. Like Mr. Gianforte, I didn’t have the benefit of being born and raised here. I chose Montana as my home as soon as I was old enough to do so. When I moved out West and stepped off the plane in Bozeman I…

Walk It Out

Life is a balancing act. My life has a lot of moving parts. (Everyone’s lives have a lot of moving parts). I am trying to regain some control about how I move through the sticky parts without blurring out the good parts, too. Because I do that. I try so hard to fix the broken,…

Again?

Life got tough again. Crap.  I was just getting used to the easier flow, a little less resistance as I swim my way upstream. Turns out, I am not designed for the easy road just yet. Nope. I have a little more fight left in me. The biggest plot twist is that it is time…

Cancer, You Bitch

When we were little my siblings and I would drive each other crazy singing, “This is the song that doesn’t end. Yes it goes on and on my friend…”  I feel like that song kind of embodies the cancer experience. If you are sick of me writing about cancer, you can imagine I’m even more…