It’s Going to be Epic

I came home and collapsed on my bed, the sensation is like a pool of energy draining into the mattress as if I spilled gallons of water on its surface. I can feel it seeping out of me, everything going limp as my muscles let the mattress take over supporting for my weight. I have…

What Is Love?

I have experienced a lot of different kinds of love today, the day of shared sentiments and gestures of affection. For me, love takes on many forms. Here is what I know love to be at this stage in my life. Love is: Sitting with yourself at 4:00am not understanding why you can’t sleep but…

Carry On!

I had my three month follow up visit with the oncologist the other day. I have to say that sitting in the cancer center waiting room while seven months pregnant was a… memorable experience? I’ve learned since then that many women are treated with chemo while pregnant. I think this is amazing. While I am…

Oh, Walter

There are a lot of great dogs in the world. Big dogs… Little dogs… Happy dogs… Good dogs… And then there is our dog… . . . . . . . . . . . . . God love you, Walter, who is mostly none of the above. *All dogs pictured above attended the same…

(Wo)man in the Mirror

I hate to admit this, but I’ve been struggling with depression lately. It is something that snuck up on me and surprised me when I was pregnant with Elle, and fortunately I was able to successfully manage it with medication when I was carrying Sophie. I recently learned depression alongside pregnancy can intensify with each…

A Love Letter

I don’t claim to know many things for sure. Life is too subjective for me to reserve judgment or claim an absolute “knowing” about anything, really. But I am confident in this: I believe, without hesitation, that we are more similar than we are different. I see this in the lessons my friends have taught…

10 Things I’m Over In 2018

Here’s a list of things that don’t serve me anymore and that I will be saying “nah” to this year: Going off diet. Life is long. Perfection doesn’t really yield progress most of the time. I’m keeping the big goal in mind while also living a normal, very human life. One way relationships. Hard pass…

Resolute

In the past, I would have been embarrassed to admit that I joined the New Year’s Resolution band wagon and kick-started a wellness effort. Whatever. This year I’m very much feeling like if that’s what it takes to make some positive changes, go for it. So I have. I have been endlessly irritated with the…

Quiet Uptown

I’ve hit that point again where my aspirations outpace my energy. Between growing a human and cycling out of treatment, I’m exhausted these most of the time. My days consist of the office, maybe a nap, home, nap again, eat, then back to bed. It’s not terribly exciting. I’d really like to fit some more…

NYE

We have finally reached the end of 2017. The first half of this year almost ended me. Between the pain and hurt and recovery and uncertainty, there were definitely times it felt like too much. It was an excruciating battle, but I survived. Fortunately, things started to improve right around the middle of the year,…

Merry Christmas

Last year we depended on the kindness and generosity of others to make our Christmas dreams come true. We had very little ourselves and were scraping to hold on to our house and business. The hardest part of treatment was still ahead of us, and little did we know that life was going to get…

Greatest Love

Once upon a time, I had a little baby. She was small and tiny and vulnerable. She couldn’t do anything for herself, so we provided everything she needed. She is my first child. She is the steel bow of a hardened ship cutting its way through ice topped waters. She is making me yield, opening…